he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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