idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
