My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
