the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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