Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
