i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
