im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
A+ Viking dick
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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