hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
