I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
