i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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