do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize