I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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