I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
