is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
