good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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