sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
