69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
