I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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