I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
