no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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