very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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