so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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