maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
