Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
