I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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