Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
