this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize