i think my tv is drunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
