its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
