I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
