I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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