Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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