We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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