Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
