I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
