Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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