Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
