I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
