so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
