we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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