i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
