Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
