Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
