The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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