I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
