I cannot find my penis.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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