shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
