i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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