question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
