hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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