I want to have your abortion
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just googled if crying burns calories
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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