It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
