brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All the doctor said was why
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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