Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
