no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize