So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
