haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
